Ok. Ok. What's Next?
When Lindsey and I started dating, I didn’t bring much to the relationship. In the looks department, I vaguely resembled a domesticated bear. But at least for personality . . . I vaguely resembled a domesticated bear.
What did I bring to the relationship? The box set of The West Wing - all seven seasons on DVD.
There were other things we had in common, of course, faith, experiences in India, and a love for reading and music.
But The West Wing presented a make-or-break relationship test for me.
I discovered The West Wing my sophomore year of college. At that time, I was travelling for work on the weekends, so I didn’t have the typical college friendships or festivities. I slept in my parents’ basement, worked, and took my brother out to Red Robin on Friday nights. The life of the party, I was not.
With a little cash in my pocket from my job, I picked up The West Wing Season One DVDs from Barnes and Noble. I binge-watched them before binge-watching was cool - back when you had to make a conscious choice to put the next DVD in, while walking uphill in the snow both ways.
Season One ends on a cliffhanger, so I had to immediately buy Season Two. Thus, I was hooked.
I had never seen TV before where being smart, informed, and motivated were prized instead of mocked, and they didn’t need explosions to make a story interesting. It gave me hope.
Shortly after this time, I started dating a girl from my school.
Looking back, there might have been a bit of Stockholm syndrome to that relationship. I attended an extremely small, Christian college where freshmen paired off like Noah’s Ark was being assembled on the quad. Those of us who made it to the upper classes unattached started looking for least objectionable alternatives, rather than soulmates.
Nevertheless, as any good boyfriend would, I tried to share her interests which included The Amazing Race, but I drew the line at The Bachelor.
I tried to share my interests, but she found The West Wing . . . “boring.”
That relationship ended the same way our 26-student graduation did - unceremoniously.
I learned a lot about myself from that relationship, about settling and happiness and being myself.
It might sound silly, but I knew the next girl would have to like The West Wing, and it would also be helpful if she actually liked me.
Lindsey and I met online, through our blogs (like real nerds) the fall after college. She was in California, and I was still in Nebraska. More on that story another time.
I moved to California for work, and we started dating.
The first time I showed her The West Wing, I watched her more than I watched the pilot. Star Wars fans will understand this. How can you really love me if you don’t care about Luke Skywalker destroying the Death Star?
We finished all seven seasons before we were married eleven months later.
On The West Wing Weekly, a podcast about The West Wing (yes, I’m that big of a nerd), they noticed that a lot of interactions between characters on the show end with, “Ok.” “Ok.” “What’s next?”
It almost always followed an intense conversation where two characters started with opposing viewpoints, came to an understanding, and decided to work toward the future together.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in our country after Election Day. It seems that being smart, informed, and motivated wouldn’t play on primetime right now, but I’m still hopeful.
Whatever the next season of our country looks like, all I know is that I’m happy I can face it with my wife and many of you who can all look at each other peacefully, thoughtfully, and say, “Ok.” “Ok.” “What’s next?”
